Shame

I love words. In fact two of my favourite books are a Dictionary and a Thesaurus; so many wonderful new words just waiting to be discovered, learnt and used. I once saw a girl in a movie using a highlighter to highlight all the new words she had learnt while reading and I thought “boy is that a good idea, a sure way to track your increasing knowledge of words.” Words are good; they are my greatest love affair. They are faithful and never lie. You can trust words, even if uttered by a liar they still give clues to truth. They are power and should be respected. However there are a few words that I do not like. A few words that when uttered my skin crawls and I have an instant flash of uncontrolled anger, disgust and horror. One of these words is Shame.

I do not like that word. It is negative, condescending and reeks of prejudice. It tells a great deal about the person who utters it and in my opinion is a good indicator of a shallow person. In my experience only shallow people use that word all the time. Generally having to utter it in just about every single conversation you have with them.

Now I admit I have used that word in the past. Usually to express my sadness at someone’s misfortune; they just found out their mother has breast cancer; someone’s child was killed in a senseless car accident; they broke their ankle while descending a flight of stairs. This ‘shame’ is usually followed by a ‘that’s terrible’. So I am not altogether absolved.

But what really makes me dislike this word so much is the fact that the people who tend to use it often don’t actually know what the true meaning is. They just use it because they are, in my honest opinion simply dense. And by dense I don’t mean closely compacted in substance or crowded closely together. I mean STUPID. To utter “shame” when you hear the news that a woman who knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it has asked her boyfriend to marry her is condescending, disgraceful and beyond a shadow of a doubt stupid. I don’t even like marriage, I don’t even get excited when I hear of other peoples impending nuptials, but I do have a certain sense of respect for someone who doesn’t need to be bound by ridiculous, outdated traditions that really have nothing to do with why someone would want to get married. It’s preposterous to say shame in that particular instance. What exactly is so shameful about it? Do you even know what the word shame means? Obviously not! So for the sake of allowing you; and by “you” I am referring to those dense individuals who have the audacity to irritate me with their stupidity; to learn something new, I have decided to give you the Concise (meaning clearly and in a few words) Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of the word Shame ~ n 1 a feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. 2 dishonour. 3 a regrettable or unfortunate thing. ~v. cause to feel ashamed.

Learn the meaning and use it in the appropriate context, if you are unable to do so then rather just shut up, after all “It is far better to be thought a fool then open your mouth and actually be one”.

I have also decided that I will no longer use that word; it has been shamed beyond repair and therefore no longer deserves a place in my vocabulary. Instead I shall find new ways to express my sadness at someone’s misfortune and leave ‘shame’ for those individuals who deserve it.